o o o Flashback o o o
... One rainy night two lost their way & became one ...
"Aapko pata hai jab mein smile karti hu, toh dimple parta hai ... aur main kisi ka bhi katal kar sakti hoon ... apne dimples se ... main aap ko bahut pasand karti hoon Mr Khan ... " Zoya's voice reverberated through the dark of the damp and thunderous night as a brooding Asad watched his musibat-magnet under his thick and wet lashes demonstrating her dimple smile animatedly to him. Her musical laughter chimed and jingled, her giggle was for him bewitching music to his ears, her voice soft and alluring. Zoya was addressing him and only him of her innermost feelings she let slip from the bhaang-induced stupor that enveloped her. He knew she felt the same way he did even if neither had ever acknowledged it before.
Her admission elicited a victorious smile across his face, his eyes mischievous on seeing her twirl in the rain, her wet saree emphasising her sensuous curves heightened the desire and tenderness he felt for her from day 1 when their paths first crossed. Asad walked sensuously, his hands restless in his pockets either side of his dark jeans ... over to an ecstatic Zoya dancing in the rain amongst the magical backdrop of the gazebo and the blissful and applauding pitter-patter of the rain celebrating the union of two. Thunder and lightning flashed across the night sky and the glow from the lighting made her curves that much more visible through her wet saree.
As he walked over he recalled the first time he laid his eyes on her at the Dargah, - seeing her at the Dargah was as though he saw his Bride for the first time ... as the breeze brazen with desire unveiled her that day and tonight was no different for Asad saw that same woman before him, except she was ecstatic today and welcoming in ways Asad spent many restless nights dreaming of. A dazed Asad soaked up the feeling that brazed his veins with desire for many sleepless nights, he felt ecstatic watching his Zoya - carefree and in a wet saree before him, her hands reaching out collecting rain drops. Smiling to himself he let go of all that held him back and relished at the thought which crossed his mind - he called her his for the first time in his mind.
He sighed longingly as he approached Zoya, her soft laughter rung in Asad's ears, as she turned her body tentatively on hearing Asad's soft approaching steps. Her lustrous dark and wet flowing hair danced sensually along the right side of her petite body caressing her face with raindrops and on her swaying ... the strands of her hair stroked his face too with cold raindrops. The cold and wet rain drops elicited a carnal fire to his already hot and sensitive skin. Zoya looked at him mesmerised by the desire that reflected in his eyes ... earning a shy smile from her lips. She bit her bottom lip and then giggled ... as the stupor induced by the bhaang dispelled the boundaries she normally conformed to when she was near Mr Akdu Ahmed Khan.
She let out a cheeky giggle before she splashed the pooled rainwater she collected in her dainty hands across Asad's face, her voice echoing gleefully ... "Mr Khan aap ke dil mein seena nahi pathaar hai" and with that she turned on her heels to take off but Asad teasingly grabbed her by her dainty wrist and pulled her closing the distance between their rain drenched bodies.
A piercing flash of lightning danced across the dark sky as Zoya crashed onto his firm and toned torso. Asad pulled her closer to him and her face landed on his warm chest from where the pounding of his erratic heart matched the beating of hers. Zoya steadied her footing by clutching Asad's tensed shoulders for support, her nails digging into his masculine and taut shoulders, producing a hitch from Asad's breath. Eventually his shoulders began to relax to her touch as her fingers dug into his skin through his wet shirt.
Not able to meet his gaze for she felt things she had bottled up for God knows how many days and nights she decided to conceal her face in the crook of his neck, her lips brushed the crook of his neck and the touch of her rain drenched lips on his hot skin where his Adam's apple protruded smugly, made Asad gulp with desire. He swallowed hard looking down at her bundled in his arms under the flickering glow of the lightning, her body quivering against his from the rain, eliciting a smirk on Asad's face. He pulled her closer his hands firmly pulling her waist to his. Zoya gasped at the feel of his fingers on her rain drenched waist.
He lowered his lips to Zoya's ears ... "Miss Farooqui, " he uttered each syllable in a voice laced with desire and longing ... "dil mein seena nahin hota, seene mein dil hota hai ... aur ek baat kahoon ... aap bhi mujhe bahut achhi lagti hain ... seriously ... Miss Farooqui ... kyun mere khwaabon pe aap ke saaye hai ... kyun meri tanhaiyon mein kalaa dalti hai aap ... aap ke bina mera waqt kaatne ko dor ta hai ... you make me feel things I ... mujhe ... woh actually ... mujhe aap se kuch chaahye ..." he stated hesitantly, his irregular and hot breath fanning over her ears and neck causing her to shiver.
She slowly but surely looked up to meet his smoky eyes, her head spinning as she felt light, as though she were floating on air. Zoya was happy, a shy smile crept across her face as she saw the same primitive intimate feeling that had become a frequent thing of late spread across his face too. The thunder roared and lightning struck wildly against the velvet sky pushing a trembling Zoya further into Asad's arms, neither breaking their gaze.
"... what do you want Mr Khan?" Zoya whispered against his wet lips as the wind brushed past them, her voice let out a timid giggle. A piercing crack of thunder crashed against the sky, lightning dazzled across the dark velvet sky and the trees surrounding them moved to the sensual flow of the breeze, the tree branches casting eerie shadows across the gazebo. With the incoming breeze ... cold rain too drizzled across the gazebo and drenched both of them. Asad lifted his hand from her waist and cupped Zoya's face, his warm fingers drawing circles on her cold cheekbones and then tracing the contours of her lips causing Zoya to shiver by his caress.
He ran his finger through her wet hair offering her comfort as she looked at him through her wet lashes. Asad's eyes looked at a raindrop that caressed Zoya's lips; his eyes traced the raindrop as it trickled down her neck and disappeared into the fabric of her saree pallu that lay wet against the swell of her heaving bre*asts. He swallowed hard as his mind wandered from her wet bosoms to her lips. He traced her plump lips with his knuckles earning a soft whimpering sigh from Zoya.
His husky voice echoed through the night against the pelting of the rain "... I want you Miss Farooqui ... kiss me ..."
Zoya's stomach tightened and tingled and she smiled shyly. She felt her cheeks grow hotter and she looked away for a few seconds. Her heart now beated hard and fast, her breath got caught in her throat and she could think of no response. She felt that she was on the verge of doing something reckless but the bhaang-induced stupor had taken over her senses as did the closeness between her and Asad. She tip-toed on her feet leaning forward into him pressing herself further against his warm and welcoming body. His eyes smoky with desire widened in excitement as he watched her approach more closer to his torso, but he did not move from his spot.
The bodice of her saree blouse felt at least two sizes too small as she tried to stifle her rapid breathing. She inched forward slowly, tugging her hands at his toned chest and placed her lips on his. He swallowed hard as her wet and cold lips met his warm and craving lips. Asad rolled his eyes backwards before closing them in pleasure. He wanted everything about her now. He welcomed her kiss by encircling her neck with his arms and drawing her even closer to him. His world blurred in a haze of wild lust as he pressed his lips too hers. Zoya inhaled Asad's familiar scent, gasping a little as Asad deepened the kiss increasing the pressure of his lips on hers. The rain began to fall even harder now as Zoya pulled away gasping for air. She traced Asad's lip with her wet hands and whispered hesitantly ... "Was this ... one of the things you had in mind?" ... her body was reacting in ways she would not have thought possible.
"That ... was one of the possibilities," Asad whispered elated and equally breathless, he smiled widely. He placed his lips on hers again and could taste the rain on her lips. His body readily responded to the taste of her lips and he felt a surge of desire rise from deep within him.
Asad was surprised by how clear his mind was about his feelings even in the blurry haze of the bhaang-induced stupor. All these months of denial, the awkward silent attraction, the strange pull he felt each time she aggravated him all came to a thunderous boil in the boisterous downpour of the stormy night because he let go of all that held him back. From the very first touch of her lips against his skin all the uncertainty he felt disappeared. He pulled away for a teasing few moments as he swept a wet lock of her hair behind her ear, his breath caught in his throat at the burning he saw in her steamy brown eyes. She wanted the same.
In one swift movement Asad swept Zoya up into his arms and Zoya clutched his wet shirt ... her fingers leaving a burning trail as her petite cold fingers lay against his hot and wet chest as he carried her in the penetrating pitter-patter of the rain. His heart pounded in his chest, fervid intentions drove him forward as he walked in the thundering rain, and each rain drop drove him wild with excitement as he walked into the only bedroom of the ground floor farmhouse lowering Zoya onto the bed, his knees rested on the mattress as Zoya lowered her head to the white silky pillow. He stayed in that position for a few moments as his eyes wandered over her body. Zoya's eyes shimmered in the darkness of the room as she raised both of her arms slowly requesting Asad to take her. He lowered himself into her reaching embrace, his hands caressed the length of her body and he was awarded with a soft moan.
He whispered softly near her ears "I cannot tell you how many nights I have spent dreaming ... of this Miss Farooqui ..." his craving eyes gazed upon her eyes. He could hardly believe she was really about to be his. Zoya parted her lips to respond but could not find words ... but tears glittered in the long entanglement of her eyelashes as she looked up at Asad in the darkness of the room, lightning flashing through the bedroom as Asad caught sight of her tearful eyes. He looked down at her in awe mesmerised by her beauty and innocence. Zoya hesitantly trailed her hands down Asad's torso feeling the crevices and contours of his muscles that etched his six packs through his wet shirt. She swallowed tightly and met his loving and longing gaze above her. His gaze reciprocated hers filled with lust and longing. Asad cupped her face with his warm hands tilting her face up before planting a kiss on her neck leaving a mark as he bit her tender skin there for release, followed by taking her quivering lips in an all-consuming kiss convincing her how right this moment was.
Zoya was finally his, Asad took her lips possessively as he pinned her dainty wrists down on either side of the silky white pillows, her body moulded to the movement of his as two lost souls proclaimed ownership over each other and soft sighs and moans saturated the small room in the boisterous and wild storm of the thunderous rainy night.
The velvet of the dark night give way to the liquid gold of the midday sun, its glowing rays fell upon Asad's tired eyes and he cringed from the sudden burning he felt as the light caressed his tired eyes. He lifted his left hand to shield his eyes. The sun was streaming even brighter into the room by the time Asad dragged his eyes open, the clock stating the time at being nearly midday. He dragged his sleep-riddled eyes fully open, staring at the numbers for a moment in confusion. He'd slept in later than he meant to and he was late for court. "Damn it!" he growled. His head was giddy and he could not remember anything. He let out a loud sigh ... his gaze slowly drifting from the clock to the naked and soft body that was flushed against his bare chest and Zoya's warm and even breath fanned over Asad's bare chest. Shock couldn't even explain how he felt in that moment. He gulped hard and slow realising the weight of what happened the night before as he looked around the room to find his clothes scattered extravagantly across the floor mingled - immodestly with hers.
All the while Zoya's eyes fluttered open slowly as the rays of sunshine caressed her glowing face and as her eyes opened she too was shocked at finding herself in the oddest of all surroundings. She blinked her eyes several times to clear the sleep-induced fog but a few flashes of memories of the previous night came rushing back. Her breath hitched as she realised she was stark naked in an embrace against Asad's naked torso. She was quick to move herself away from him clutching the white satin sheets, her hands trembling as she shrouded herself from his infuriated gaze. She swallowed hard her breathing rapid as she dared to look up to meet his gaze.
Asad hastily got off the bed and began gathering his clothes which were strewn over the floor and in anger he dressed. He needed to drive as fast as possible to reach court. He stood with his back towards Zoya, he could not bear to look at her right now.
"Mr Khan ... woh ... main ... aap ... ye kya ... maine kuch nahin kiya, meri koi galti nahin hai ... Mr Khan," Zoya whimpered her eyes brimming with fear and tears as she observed Asad. He was cold and stark silent and that was not a good sign. All Zoya could see was his back however it was clear he was angry as his fists clenched tight at his sides.
"Sab aap ki galti hai, sab kuch aap ne kiya," Asad's voice roared through the silence in the quiet room startling Zoya as she clutched the white satin sheets to her quivering body for comfort.
"Mr Khan ... maine kuch nahin kiya ... aur agar hamare beech ... k-kuch ... huwaa bhi hai ... t-toh ... a-aap bhi ... iss mein-"
"Miss Farooqui," Asad roared cutting her off before she could complete her sentence, before she could join her name with his.
He turned rapidly on his feet to face her, his fists clenched and his eyes bloodshot with relentless anger.
"Sirf aap ki galti hai. This is all your fault," Asad said confidently as he pointed his fingers at her disapprovingly.
"Na hum yahaan aate, na yeh sab hota. Pehle aap mujhe sheher se itni dooor le aayi ... You could've gone to locate the whereabouts of your father any other day but nahin ... you are so impatient. Aur mujhe yakeen hai ke ye sab aap ne mujhe court jaane se rok ne ke liye kiya hai," Asad seethed in anger.
"Aur main ... Mr Khan ... what is to become of me ... of this?" Zoya exasperated with a heavy heart at his denial of the night before.
"Miss Farooqui ... you aren't a victim in this ... shaayad aap ko yaad nahin but I vaguely remember you ... YOU initiated the kiss ... you begged me for it," Asad stressed his words as his memories of last night were fragmented ... "I was doing just fine on my own before you came along," Asad retorted as his fists tightened, only he knew how he controlled himself at that moment from striking her with his hands. Zoya was frozen and dazed with hurt on hearing him place the blame of last night solely on her. How could he be so insensitive?
"Aap mujhe fasaana chaahti thi ... aaj mujhe tumhari asleeyat samajh mein aayi," Asad's voice roared his words abrupt cutting at Zoya's heart. Zoya looked up at Asad in disbelief, her eyes began to tear "Mr Kh ..-"
"Chup, bilkul chup ... " Asad pointed his finger once again towards Zoya, "Mat dekayen mujhe ye masoom chehra ... sirf ek dekava ... aap ke ye bareh-bareh ansoon se mujhe koi farak nahin parta ... aap hamesha meri humdardi ka faida oota thi rahi ... just because I let you stay in my house, put up with your mistakes, just because I showed you sympathy by helping you ... you took advantage of the situation," Asad glared at her.
"Mr Khan-" a devastated Zoya uttered through a shuddering sob at Asad.
"All the petrol from my SUV leaked on the way here and I am sure that you had a hand in that. Aap kal raat kuch aisi hee bar-bara rahi ti ... aap ne ye sab isliye kiya ... taa ke main court naa pohunch paaoon and that you could then work your plan here ... to trap me ... ameer hoon, paisa hai, shauhrat hai .. sab kuch hai mere paas ... aur isilye aap uss Dargah se mere ghar tak pohunch gayyee ... Miss Farooqui ... agar tumhe lagta hai ke tum mujhe fasaa sakti ho ... then let me make that clear to you now ... you are wrong," Asad hissed slamming his hand violently against the headboard near Zoya's face.
Her face fell as the colour dropped from her cheeks, she was pale as ever, frightened by his aggression. So that is what he thinks about me? Is he that repulsed by me? Those were the only thoughts that crossed her wounded mind.
"Mr Khan ... mera yakeen kijye ... main sirf aap ko court jaane se rok ne ki koshish kar rahi ti ... Phoopi .. k-ke liye ... I would never do anything to deceive you ... to trap you," Zoya whimpered under his infuriated gaze pleading her innocence.
"Not one more word Miss Farooqui," Asad roared near Zoya's terrified and pleading face, his hands shot up and pinned her shoulders back against the headboard of the bed violently causing her to shriek in pain where his fingers dug into her shoulders, mercilessly ... cold-heartedly.
"Maine aap se kahaa ta ... mere family matters mein interfere mat kijye ... agar aaj ke baad aap mere aas pass dekai bhi dhi ... toh I swear main aap ki jaan le loonga ..." Asad blared his words across Zoya's hurt face. His brooding eyes were intimidating as he observed her cower under his anger.
"Miss Farooqui ... I want you to leave me, my house, my life and go back to New York ... meri zindagi mein, mere ghar mein ... aap ke liye koi jagaa nahin hai. You are a complete misfit," Asad hissed as he pulled away from her and walked away picking up his jacket off the floor. He slammed his hand against the glass door on the way out and with his back towards her he mouthed in repulsion "I can't even look at you anymore ..."
Zoya looked at Asad fading into the distance; he left her there, torn, alone and hurt. The engine of his SUV roared and drove off in furore until its sound became distant. Zoya pulled her knees up to herself hugging the cold white satin sheets for comfort because she felt utterly devastated. She rocked herself back and forth to stop herself from crying, to stop herself from shuddering in pain; he left her there in agony. She desperately wanted to believe this was a nightmare and that she would wake up in her room back at the Khan Villa and none of this ever happened. But as she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror opposite the bed she saw her shattered form, she saw the bite marks on her neck and chest, she saw her swollen lips and she saw raw fingerprint marks on her shoulders where a few minutes ago Asad had pinned her with his aggressive and insensitive hands. She let out a sob and her tears now fell uncontrollably. And her body ached in new ways she wished she could ignore.
An hour or more must have passed before Zoya managed to compose herself despite her internal battle of trying to recall last night's events and at the same time mute Asad's words which reverberated in her mind on a loop. She located her jeans and top and her blazer and got dressed wearily. She sat on the bed zipping her flat boots up and then she leaned over the bed to get her bag and iPad but her eyes rested on the small trail of bloodstains that decorated the white linen of the bed. A lone tear ran down her cheek as she traced the bloodstains with trembling hands. "It meant nothing to him ..." she sniffled ... "I gave myself, heart, mind, soul and body without reserve to him last night ... and yet it meant nothing to him," she sat there broken as his words echoed in her mind ... "I can't even look at you right now ... you did this to trap me ... aaj mujhe tumhari asleeyat samajh mein aayi ... aap jaise logon se mujhe saqt nafrat hai ... aap mere liye bilkul misfit hai."
She desperately wanted to believe otherwise. How could he have changed so direly in one night? She began to replay some of the most intense moments she had shared with him in the short but bittersweet time they knew each other. He saved her from Akram and his goons, he cared for her and protected her in Mangalpur as he was scared for her life, he listened and comforted her about her fire nightmare, he was always there to catch her when she fell and in those moments of closeness he would gaze into her eyes tenderly as much as she too did in those moments of closeness and he helped her just these past few days in retrieving information about her estranged father. He was her pillar of strength and support in those times. And now all he did was break her down.
"He doesn't feel anything for you," Zoya's thoughts spoke out aloud, "he left you here, alone just like your father deserted your mother and you," her own voice mocked her now.
Wiping her tears, Zoya got up with reaffirmed strength, she needed to get out of here after all of the insolence and condemnation Asad threw her way ... she needed clarity ... space to clear her mind, unravel the haze of last night and deal with the unrequited feelings she felt throbbing in her heart for him. He wanted her gone anyway and she decided she would do just that.
Zoya got on a bus to make her way home as fast as she could. She needed to pack. She told herself a million times that she didn't need him, she was independent and it no longer mattered what he thought of her because she had already emailed her friend Nargis from her iPad requesting to rent Nargis's family villa in Bhopal. Zoya already decided that until she did not locate or gather more information about her father - she wasn't going to leave Bhopal but she no longer had the physical or emotional strength to face him. He totally drained all her reserves. Lost in the aching silence and loneliness that engulfed her on the busy bus Zoya was unaware when the accident happened.
In the silence of the aftermath of the bus accident ... amongst the grey smoke, howling sirens and screams from the helpless and injured surrounding her, Zoya lifted her tearful eyes to see that he was there. He was here to save her, her mind and heart consoled her as she heaved a heavy sigh of relief. Her resolve and affirmations she uttered a million times before on the bus of being independent from him now shattered ... because truth be told, she needed him. She needed him now and forever. And he was here ... to save her.
Asad was here; her gaze met his as she perceived him looking in her direction. He was here to take her away and to apologise to her for his insolence. Zoya's face lit up with sheer relief, her hurt somewhat dissipated as her tired eyes fell on his severely handsome and alarmed face as he picked up the speed of his feet sprinting in trepidation ... in her direction. Her arms naturally reached up and out in a need to embrace him, she needed to feel safe in his arms, but as his shoulder brushed passed hers coldly, the smile of relief on her face too faltered. As she turned slowly in confusion on her injured feet she was astounded by the sight of Asad embracing a woman dressed modestly in salwaar-kameez.
She felt paralysed at the gravity of the view before her, it struck her with a piercing ache as though her entire world had collapsed around her. He wasn't here for her, he wasn't sorry and he didn't even care. Her arms dropped to her sides, listless as tears threatened to spill, her iPad fell from her hands to the ground and she didn't register its crash landing on the floor as all sounds around her muffled and the only sound she heard was the breaking of her heart. Wiping the tears that trickled relentlessly down her pale cheeks, Zoya turned to walk away from the harrowing scene that played out before her.
Asad's voice echoed in her mind as she walked away with flashes of the night before ... "Agar aap itni badtameez hai to phir aap mujhe itni acchi kyun lagti hai ... seriously Miss Farooqui maine aap se zyaada weird ladki kabhi nahi dekhi ... toh phir aap mein itni kashish kyun hai ...
jab aap mujhe itni na pasand hain ... toh mere khwaabon mein aap ke saaye kyun hai ... kyun meri tanhaiyon mein kalaa dalti hain aap ... kyon mere andheron mein roshni ban ke aati hain ...
aap ke bina mera waqt kaatne ko dor ta hai ... you make me feel things I ... mujhe ... woh actually ... mujhe aap se kuch chaahye ... Miss Farooqui ... kiss me." Zoya gasped holding her chest with one hand and the other hand over her mouth as she tried to control herself from tearing up again.
Not able to take the weight of his words which were a stark contrast from his condemnation he showered her with earlier on midday ... "agar tumhe lagta hai ke tum mujhe fasaa sakti ho ... then let me make that clear to you now ... you are wrong ... aaj mujhe tumhari asleeyat samajh mein aayi ... aap jaise logon se mujhe saqt nafrat hai ... I can't even look at you right now ... Miss Farooqui ... I want you to leave and go back to New York ... meri zindagi mein, mere ghar mein ... aap ke liye koi jagaa nahin hai. You are a complete misfit."
Zoya's head spun, her conflicting emotions and the turmoil the dreadful day brought made her feel weak, her body trembled with fear and she did the only one thing she knew best. And that was to run. She ran from the scene, her iPad left where it lay on the ground, unloved and uncared for, just like her.
Asad walked a distraught Tannu to his SUV but as he guided her to the seat and closed the passenger door of the SUV shut, his tired eyes rested on the familiar pink iPad case strewn haphazardly on the ground a few metres in front of him. Immediately Asad registered the identity of the iPad ... as the hollow memories in the recesses of his mind stirred him that this iPad was the same one he bought for Zoya after the Mangalpur calamity. But there were no signs of the face that owned it. Zoya was no-where in sight as he lowered himself to pick up the iPad from the ground and on closer inspection, he saw a trail of blood on the pink case. She was hurt, and that thought disturbed him to the core as his heart throbbed with pain.
"Zoya," Asad roared as the rain began to pour down furiously. The clouds roared as clasps of thunder and lightning crashed against the grey sky.
He felt his hope wavering as he searched the crowds of the casualties for her face but despair clutched his heart when after an hour of searching he could not locate her anywhere near the accident scene. He called his driver to take Tannu home and on further interrogation he learnt that Miss Farooqui was not at home yet. Kahaan ho tum Zoya? He decided to go back to the farmhouse where they spent the night, maybe she was there. "Why would she be?" ... his own voice mocked him as his own words surfaced to his head ... "Miss Farooqui ... I want you to leave me, my house, my life and go back to New York ... meri zindagi mein, mere ghar mein ... aap ke liye koi jagaa nahin hai. You are a complete misfit." Asad banged the steering wheel of his SUV with both hands as his own words stung him now. He drove in desperation to the farmhouse.
"Zoya," his voice thundered against the walls of the silent and cold farmhouse. He ran through the hollow farmhouse to find it void of her presence, but the cold walls stirred of the events that occurred last night as he passed each corner of the farmhouse and bedroom. His eyes rested on the bloodstains that boldly caressed the white linen on the bed. His insensitivity and insolence dawned on him as he traced the stain with remorseful hands. He felt guilty for he robbed her of her innocence. The rainstorm picked up outside as he walked back to his SUV, the thunderous atmosphere reflected the tempest that now brew inside Asad's heart as he hastily dialled Prasad to see if he could locate Miss Farooqui for him while Asad continued his search. It was midnight when Asad finally gave up and returned home. He walked through the door dismal to find his mother tending to him as he was late tonight and he did not have anything to eat.
"Ammi, aap ne Zoya ko dekha hai?" he asked and his distress was clearly visible to Dilshaad.
"Woh apne kamre mein hai, she was tired, usse chot bhi lagee hai ... so I called the Doctor for her ... and she is asleep for now, kyun?" his mother asked him. She had already sensed there was some kind of tension between Zoya and Asad, when earlier on Zoya returned home ... alone, afraid, distraught and wounded. When Dilshaad questioned her, Zoya brushed it off as a minor bus accident and nothing more but deep down she knew there was more to it than Zoya let on. Zoya had clearly instructed Dilshaad she was leaving for New York the following afternoon because her visa had expired. She would leave, alone - while Najma was at college and Asad at work so that she could leave without having to say that dreadful goodbye, as she hugged her Phoopi one last time in a long and lingering embrace. Zoya had already written a note for Najma thanking her for being her best friend while in Bhopal and she strictly told her Phoopi not to tell Asad anything. He didn't need to know anything at all any more where she was concerned. Dilshaad could sense something was amiss as her thoughts pondered over Zoya's mellow words.
"Ammi, bas aise hi ... she's irresponsible and ... woh ... bina bataaye ..." Asad murmured bringing his Ammi out of her thoughts. Dilshaad looked at her son, "Woh bina bataaye chali aayi akele, yaa phir tumne usse beech raaste mein kahin chod diya? As far as I recall you both went out together the last time I checked," Dilshaad raised her brows looking at Asad in disappointment. She sighed lowering her gaze.
"Khair, tumhe bhoook lagee hogi, main khana lagwa deti hoon, tum jaa ke change kar lo," Dilshaad instructed with a stern expression. "Nahin Ammi, I'm not hungry, it's past midnight you should rest Ammi," Asad reassured his mother by placing a delicate kiss on her forehead. Dilshaad retired to bed reluctantly as she gave a final lingering look at Zoya's closed room door. Bechaari she thought. As Dilshaad disappeared into the confines of her bedroom, Asad began walking albeit hesitantly towards Zoya's room. His compulsion to reassure himself she was safe moved him.
He opened the door tentatively his hands shaking with fear, for he almost lost Zoya today. He peered in through the small gap of the slightly opened door to find Zoya resting her head against the headboard of her bed, sound asleep. Her eyes were closed and she had a bandage wrapped around her frail head. She looked immensely pale. He swallowed hard at the sight of her bandaged head; her distressed image from the morning of her clutching the white satin sheets against her quivering body, her eyes pleading her innocence pained his heart now. He should not have said those things to her, he cursed himself. Watching her from the safety of the doorway, the desire to take her into his arms was strong but Asad feared he would do something he would end up regretting. He would only inflict more hurt upon her already tormented heart. He didn't know why or what overcame him? Why did he need to hold her in his arms? He sighed brushing his thoughts away. He closed the door and walked to his room.
In the darkness of his room Asad paced in anger back and forth reliving the events of the morning in his mind over and over again. "Mr Khan ... mera yakeen kijye ... main sirf aap ko court jaane se rok ne ki koshish kar rahi ti ... I would never do anything to deceive you ... to trap you, maine kuch nahin kiya, meri koi galti nahin hai" ... Zoya's voice echoed in his mind.
Asad held his head with both hands disconsolately, clutching his wet hair in the process, not able to collect his thoughts. He raked his fingers through his wet hair pacing the room in anger; anger directed more towards himself for losing control last night. His mind was a clouded haze of confusion; he still had not put the pieces of last night together. It was a blurry memory ... he recalled holding her wet and shivering body in his warm embrace as the fragmented flashing images of last night raced rampantly in his mind. He recalled dancing and swaying with her to some lingering melody which was followed by a kiss and then his mind went cloudy. He smacked his hand hard against the windowpane of his bedroom window. Slowly his furrowed gaze trailed up and looked at his anguished reflection in the glass of his room window and then he saw her face ... in the clear glass of the window ... smiling back at him. Her smile, pure and innocent melted some of his anger. He raised his hands anxiously, his movement jerky to touch her ... "Zoya," he whispered deprived of her warmness as his burning hands touched the cold glass of the window. The next moment the rain lashed down unrestrained, rain drizzled wildly against the window washing away with it her pure image bringing forth his torn and confused reflection into view. He stared back at his reflection morosely as he felt he was drifting further away from Zoya as he heard her shattered and shaky voice reverberate once more in his mind ... "Aur main ... Mr Khan ... what is to become of me ... of this?" She didn't deserve what he inflicted on her as he recalled the blood stained sheets in the greyness of the farmhouse.
A thunderous roar rumbled across the sky bringing Asad out of his pensive state. He heaved a heavy sigh reassuring himself that he would sort this out in the morning when Zoya woke up as he walked over and placed her iPad in its pink case next to her earring he kept with him all this time. Tracing his fingers across the earring his heart pained at the thought of how she must have cried when he left her all alone at the deserted farmhouse in the morning. He sighed with loathing.
"Mujhe koi farak nahin parta ... she means nothing to me, it was a mistake and I'll apologise for what I said and then we can then go back to being normal," Asad pacified his troubled heart and mind as he reached for the sleeping pills at the back of his drawer. He needed sleep and his mind was inflicted with images of her and given his pride he didn't want to admit that he was in the wrong and that something definitely had changed.
Earlier ...
A few tender minutes following Asad's departure from Zoya's room, Zoya's eyes snapped wide open as she heard the swift noise of her room door closing. She cringed at the pain that emanated from her wounded head, her fingers trailing the bandage but it did not hurt as much as the wounds Asad had inflicted upon her. Zoya's tearful eyes darted to the door of her room and her gaze trailed to where she felt Asad's presence, where he had stood before ... watching over her. Her inner voice mocked at her for thinking such a stupid thought ... "Why would he ever? He hates you ... " There was no way he would come to see her now as she got up and decided to leave as soon as possible instead of waiting till afternoon because facing him and that salwaar-cladded woman would be far too much for her to tolerate.
"Mr Khan apne aap ko samajh te kya hai? Kabhi bhi kuch bhi bol dete hai ... bina soche samjhe ... what did he mean ... ke main ..." Zoya blabbered incoherently to herself as she packed the remainder of her belongings, pain evident in her voice as she recalled his words on how she tried to trap him for his money.
" ...but why should I care ... main toh day one se jaan ti hoon ... ke woh ek male chauvinist personality hai ... aur woh change nahin hone wale ... mujhe toh pataa hai na ... ke oonke preconceived notions aur opinions kitne trashy hai ... toh phir bhi mujhe itna farak kyun parta hai ... " Zoya questioned her reflection in the dressing table mirror. She knew the answer to that but she was reluctant to audibly admit that she felt something more than inkling of attraction for him. It mattered to her what he thought of her, what he felt for her.
The darkness of the night that shrouded her room turned into early morning light as Zoya spent the past few hours crying. She took her bags to the front of her room but her acute sense of hearing was alerted to the haunting music of a guitar being played, its lingering melody split through the morning air caressing the breeze with its aching, its melody reaching the confines of her room. Asad, her heart screamed for his embrace ... He was singing broodingly as his lyrics fell upon her craving ears "Zindagi ki yehi reet hai ... ek pal dard ka daanv hai ... dusra sukh bhari chhaaon hai ... zindagi ki yehi reet ha ... gham ka baadal jo chhaaye to hum muskuraate rahe."
Her heart leaped for a few fluttering moments as she opened the door ever so slightly. She could hope couldn't she? ... that maybe just maybe he was sorry?
But the view before her only shattered her further. In the morning light that scattered across the living room she saw the picture perfect family of Asad in a group hug with his dear Ammi and dearest Tamatar ... and her, the salwaar-cladded woman. Zoya gripped the door handle of her bedroom door until her knuckles turned white in pain from clenching the door handle too hard. She was imperfect and would never fit into his picture perfect family as Asad's words echoed in her head once more ... " Aap mere liye, mere ghar ke liye bikul misfit hai ...
She looked at him one last time, turned around, and locked the room door tight. She forgot about the rain that lashed outside and the cold that chilled her bones now. Thunder rumbled above and lightning streaked across the skies. She smiled as she remembered how it used to be and then cried at how it turned out.
End of part 2
© Fatima B Lunat 2014
Gifs, credit goes to: Himani, Avantika, Priya, Mehak, Usha of http://qubool.tumblr.com/tagged/asya
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